You think you know me?
Stereotypes tied with your unmalleable mind is no match for a queen
Carrying the spirit of my ancestors
Walking rebelliously in solidarity with my kin
Decaying box with my name on it starving from my resistance
I have not fed it the assimilation it needs to survive
**I do not have any rights to the picture that was used.
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Unbounded she rose
In front winning every fight
Never lost focus
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The other day I was enjoying the nice humid 91degree weather with a 40% chance of rain in Orlando, Florida. Palm trees, lake, and a strange bird was in my view that I have yet to identify. Nothing says vacay like 14 dollars and 57 cents left in your bank account. Why was May such a rough month financially? I guess I can say goodbye to my budget that went to sh*t. So I may or may not have been lucky to be there, but I am thankful. Because my recent need to get away for my mental health I have found my vacation fund depleted. For another round of, “where did my money go?” I will blame it on the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere and it was challenging to find rides to my various destinations this week and next week that I have found myself “ripped off.”
Where was I going with this?
Is there another version of “I got hoes in different area codes” that I could apply to my friends? Wait, they are not my hoes we just come from many places across the United Sates hence my desire to use area codes. Shoutout to Ludacris because that is essentially my life.
I enjoy traveling which is why it is a line item under “Savings” in my budget. I had the opportunity to see a friend who I have not had the chance to sit next to in over a year. His car got towed in the process, haha, talk about Hello! he is not mad so I feel like I can freely tell you all about this experience and laugh about it.
Grad school has provided me with more than an education. It has provided me with a great group of friends doing amazing work. I almost cried when I arrived when everyone got up to hug me and offered me a smile while shouting my name. I had a rough week and I want them to know I appreciated that moment more than I can express with words.
I know traveling provides you with a certain social capital that not everyone has the privilege of obtaining. At any rate, Florida is in the books, Colorado is next, and then Washington. Two new states in two weeks =)
“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind” Seneca
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I do not know about you, but I like to have 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 drinks, before I know it I could be drinking a whole bottle of wine or tequila *wink. I am only kidding on the bottle of tequila, but whatever floats your boat as long as you are safe and within your limit.
I am 25 going on 26 and I am currently walking on a thin tightrope. Tightropes seem to be thin anyway, but I will leave the “thin” just for your wondrous imagination. I have moved into the full-time professional world and if you ask me, what is professionalism anyway? In many aspects, it tries to put you in a box and as you walk towards the box you hear a faint voice in the distance saying “assimilation… conformity” Who wants that? not to mention the classism among other things that come into play when talking about professionalism.
Moving into the professional world as someone who is young you may feel the watchful eye behind your back. Yes, we should all be great examples and we all want to live too and or just have a drink when we want to have a drink. Just because people do not see everything I do that does not mean I am better than the next person. I can be described as someone who has “no chill” and yes I am very much an introvert and rule follower. What is life without breaking some rules? just a life without breaking rules and therefore you do not get the opportunity to see how much they bend.
Breaking rules do not necessarily mean breaking the law or doing anything that could potentially get you arrested. That last sentence alone could have me go on a rant about the justice system, but not the time or place. Sometimes you have to break the rules to get to where you want to be or break your own rules so you can live beyond your comfort zone.
By saying I occasionally get drunk, have been high before, not a virgin, known to curse up a storm or whatever else you feel may be “unholy” or “taboo” is letting you know that I have indulged in things that some see as sin or unprofessional.
But again, what is professionalism anyway…
A whisper and smile
She knew what his’ heart said
He never let go
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“I choose to be happy”
One of the many affirmation cards that sit on my desk. If I have learned anything in the past year it is this, it is okay to be patient until you get what you want. In other words, wait for the right fuel (I wonder how many times I have said this to myself and in my post already, I need a constant reminder). Coincidentally, as I lift the next card up it states, “It is ok for me to have everything I WANT.”
Yesterday I was told “No”
A normal response this time last year would be some feelings of discouragement. However, this time around I was happy, weirdly happy. Maybe it is not weird at all. I know that if I was told yes I would have continued a process where I was settling. A door was closed and I know that something better for me is waiting behind another door; as cliche as it sounds.
Moving to Missouri has been particularly challenging. Not the moving part, but what I have experienced while here. Despite the mental exhaustion and dragging myself out of bed each day, I do not think I made the wrong choice by any means. After a few hard conversations, I know a new chapter awaits.
My life is currently similar to the cursor I see on my screen. It is waiting for me to write my next chapter and the difference this time is that there is no script. The only guidelines are what I need to be happy, thriving, and my definition of successful.
Therefore, I leave you with this…
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” supposedly said by someone named Joseph Campbell
Radiant as a sunflower
Nothing comes close to the way her melanin glows
She is gold♦♦
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