Night

Night

Standing in her fears
Dare she relish in her dreams
Conquering the world

#Haiku #Poetry #Ratri #Goddess #MondayNightHaiku

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**I do not own any rights to the picture used in this post.

Yesterday I was told “No”

“I choose to be happy”
One of the many affirmation cards that sit on my desk. If I have learned anything in the past year it is this, it is okay to be patient until you get what you want. In other words, wait for the right fuel (I wonder how many times I have said this to myself and in my post already, I need a constant reminder). Coincidentally, as I lift the next card up it states, “It is ok for me to have everything I WANT.”

Yesterday I was told “No”
A normal response this time last year would be some feelings of discouragement. However, this time around I was happy, weirdly happy. Maybe it is not weird at all. I know that if I was told yes I would have continued a process where I was settling. A door was closed and I know that something better for me is waiting behind another door; as cliche as it sounds.

Moving to Missouri has been particularly challenging. Not the moving part, but what I have experienced while here. Despite the mental exhaustion and dragging myself out of bed each day, I do not think I made the wrong choice by any means. After a few hard conversations, I know a new chapter awaits.

My life is currently similar to the cursor I see on my screen. It is waiting for me to write my next chapter and the difference this time is that there is no script. The only guidelines are what I need to be happy, thriving, and my definition of successful.

Therefore, I leave you with this…

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” supposedly said by someone named Joseph Campbell

Potential mediocrity meets the wandering mind: One-way stop

Have you ever felt like you are sitting in a place of complacency? Have you felt like changing your trajectory, but the steps to walk that way are unclear?

Maya Angelou said, “nothing will work unless you do.” So here you are trying to figure out what you want to accomplish next and looking for your next challenge to grow while climbing to leave a place where you feel mediocre. Maybe most of your connections are in one area and you are trying to figure out how to build a wider network.

What might get you the most is that you feel that you do not have anyone to talk to about where you would like to go next. Knowing that your journey is your own you still juggle the concept of time in your mind. Am I where I am supposed to be?

You want more for yourself and realize you have internalized messages that told you, who you are and how far you will go. Doubt at this point may have set in. Although doubt may have set in you use your mental power to combat those messages while letting yourself know that you can. Because you cannot spell “can’t” without “can” am I right? maybe not enough cans in one sentence.

As you continue your journey you come to a stop sign down a one-way road. Forward is where you want to be and behind you is where you are at. Thus, you are met with the inevitable notion of experience. Do you have enough? Do you have more than enough? You are expected to have this and if you do not you must teach yourself or be taught. You might ask, “why am I not able to jump right in? Sorry, it does not work that way and people have become too lazy with more trust in technology. Yes, we want people to have experience with something such as being a surgeon or do you want to hop on the hospital bed with someone wanting to “try it out”? My immediate guess is your answer is, no.

Whoever you are or wherever you are you get what you put out in the universe. Maybe it is not asking if you are where you are supposed to be, but making a statement that you are going where you need and or want to be. Maybe instead of complacency you are transitioning and want to be set when you may just be getting started. However, do not settle for mediocrity. Do not settle for the person society wants you to be either. Find yourself and find purpose through reflection. On your way do not forget to be present and enjoy where you are!

Be the one who turns the one-way into a four-way (all-way) and does not turn back

 

 

Don’t be a hater, check yo self

How many of yall have haters?

We usually have one and that is ourselves. Too often we doubt our abilities and who we are in some way. Do not sell yourself short. The mind is powerful and has the strength to force us into a place of comfortability.

If you find that you are in a place where you are stuck or you have worked on something for awhile, note that your day will come. As cliche (#InsertAccentMark) as that may sound.

I am saying this while digesting it at the same time. Your journey is different than the person next to you, behind you, and in front of you.

STOP COMPARING and live YOUR life because at the end of the day you are the one that has to live it. Ignore the voices, ignore your haters, and ignore that voice in your head telling you in multiple different ways that you can’t.

Do this… 

blog meme 2

 

 

Does your effort match your dreams?

Does your effort match your dreams?

Does your effort match your dreams? Take a moment to sit with this question…

I was asked this question over the weekend, more like yesterday. The reality is that my effort does not currently match my dreams. I do not want to say I am comfortable because I have not been out of graduate school for a year yet.
I may have spoke about this in my first post, but majority of my life I have been in survival mode. I am not saying this is an excuse I am saying I now have the time to figure out who I am. Over the past couple years I have engaged in a lot of self-reflection stemming from my experiences growing up and how I show up in the world. The difference now is that I am looking at things that I have always loved to do and researching how I can make those things a reality for myself. 

Totally related and or unrelated depending on your perspective but I was in RESPOND Mental health training last week and a couple people came up to me inquiring about the same thing. They both asked if I had a counseling background. One of them was a counselor and mentioned (in so many words) that I have this way about me that says “counselor.”

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a counselor. Throughout the majority of my undergrad I was planning to get my masters in counseling and go from there. I have heard similar comments before so I at least know it was sincere. I no longer have plans to be a counselor and I asked myself, “does skill=purpose?” 

Naturally we have some skill, something we are good at that we can develop, and in other areas we need to work twice as hard to develop a skill. I am assuming Steph Curry had some game when he started ballin’ and then continued to develop that. He or someone else recognized his abilities and chose to beleive in him and he chose to beleive in himself. Thus, did he see that skill as his purpose? I guess I should ask if he sees basketball as his purpose in the first place. Likewise, I have a skill and or skills that a say “counselor” and I do not necessarily know if that is my purpose.

Back to my point about survival mode. I have been in survival mode majority of my life which did not allow me the opportunity to sit with myself, be with myself, and figure out what I would like to do with my life. Yes I had a goal and I had a passion for where I am at right now and something else is trying to send a message. 

I hope to use the next few months to dig deep and listen to what I am trying to tell myself. Listen to yourself and ask if your dreams match your effort. Don’t have “champagne dreams with beer effort.” 

More importantly do not let your need to stay afloat prevent you from getting to know who you are.