Night

Night

Standing in her fears
Dare she relish in her dreams
Conquering the world

#Haiku #Poetry #Ratri #Goddess #MondayNightHaiku

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**I do not own any rights to the picture used in this post.

Yesterday I was told “No”

“I choose to be happy”
One of the many affirmation cards that sit on my desk. If I have learned anything in the past year it is this, it is okay to be patient until you get what you want. In other words, wait for the right fuel (I wonder how many times I have said this to myself and in my post already, I need a constant reminder). Coincidentally, as I lift the next card up it states, “It is ok for me to have everything I WANT.”

Yesterday I was told “No”
A normal response this time last year would be some feelings of discouragement. However, this time around I was happy, weirdly happy. Maybe it is not weird at all. I know that if I was told yes I would have continued a process where I was settling. A door was closed and I know that something better for me is waiting behind another door; as cliche as it sounds.

Moving to Missouri has been particularly challenging. Not the moving part, but what I have experienced while here. Despite the mental exhaustion and dragging myself out of bed each day, I do not think I made the wrong choice by any means. After a few hard conversations, I know a new chapter awaits.

My life is currently similar to the cursor I see on my screen. It is waiting for me to write my next chapter and the difference this time is that there is no script. The only guidelines are what I need to be happy, thriving, and my definition of successful.

Therefore, I leave you with this…

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” supposedly said by someone named Joseph Campbell

Not at the dinner Table!

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You know the few things you are not supposed to talk about at the dinner table? I tend to talk about those things and more. At times I have no chill. Lately, I have engaged in conversation about religion. Until recently I have juggled in my mind my identification as a Christian.

By now you might wonder what my stance is… I currently do not identify with any religion. I believe this is part of my journey in getting to know myself and digging deep into what my values and beliefs are. Having the ability to say that to you confidently tells me a lot.

All of my life I have questioned. My great uncle used to say I would make a great detective. Being shamed for questioning growing up is one thing that turned me off. I am not saying everyone does and too often people do.

I have had people tell me they wish they came to know their God instead of growing up in a church. I am not saying all churches are bad and or that growing up in a church is bad. Likewise, I recognize what churches did for the Black community and pay homage to that.

However, I can see how oppressive organized religion can be. I went to church here and there growing up so I cannot tell you about that experience, but something never sat well with me. For awhile people would ask if I went to church and I told them no. I told them the relationship between God and I is just that.

I asked a friend why he identifies as a Christian and he was not able to tell me why. He was able to tell me that he stands by some of the values and ways of being. He said he sometimes struggles with the way people teach “the word” too because the bible is like a game of “telephone.”

Recently, I read an article that talked about millennials and their view on religion. http://faithit.com/12-reasons-millennials-over-church-sam-eaton/ I encourage you to read it. I am not able to fully speak on the experience of growing up in a church like I said and I can relate to some of what is stated in the article.

Also if someone can clarify the “God fearing man” phrase I would appreciate it. I do not see being fearful of God as healthy and maybe I am interpreting it all wrong.

For awhile I was afraid to tell any guy what my stance was just in case things moved forward and we had kids one day. Although, I have pretty strong perspectives about a lot of things that some guys I have dealt with cannot handle *Kanye shrug. Back to maybe having kids together one day gives away how much I am a futuristic thinker. These days I am a tad bit more relaxed. My point is that it will be important to talk about whether we want our children to grow up in a church and right now that is not what I want.

Lastly, I would encourage you to think about whether you would have come to know your faith on your own if you did not grow up in a church. Would you be a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, etc? This is not to change your beliefs but to get you to dig deeper about why you believe what you believe.

 

Adventure awaits

Wanderer keep faith
Be still between here and there
Life is waiting, go

#MondayNightHaiku

P.S. I am missing Barcelona so it is only right that I post a picture. I cannot take the credit because I got it off of google. One day I will be back and eating choripan while sippin’ sangria at the beach.

barca