It’s Lit: Professionalism microscope with a dash of sin

I do not know about you, but I like to have 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 drinks, before I know it I could be drinking a whole bottle of wine or tequila *wink. I am only kidding on the bottle of tequila, but whatever floats your boat as long as you are safe and within your limit.

I am 25 going on 26 and I am currently walking on a thin tightrope. Tightropes seem to be thin anyway, but I will leave the “thin” just for your wondrous imagination. I have moved into the full-time professional world and if you ask me, what is professionalism anyway? In many aspects, it tries to put you in a box and as you walk towards the box you hear a faint voice in the distance saying “assimilation… conformity” Who wants that? not to mention the classism among other things that come into play when talking about professionalism.

Moving into the professional world as someone who is young you may feel the watchful eye behind your back. Yes, we should all be great examples and we all want to live too and or just have a drink when we want to have a drink. Just because people do not see everything I do that does not mean I am better than the next person. I can be described as someone who has “no chill” and yes I am very much an introvert and rule follower. What is life without breaking some rules? just a life without breaking rules and therefore you do not get the opportunity to see how much they bend.

Breaking rules do not necessarily mean breaking the law or doing anything that could potentially get you arrested. That last sentence alone could have me go on a rant about the justice system, but not the time or place. Sometimes you have to break the rules to get to where you want to be or break your own rules so you can live beyond your comfort zone.

By saying I occasionally get drunk, have been high before, not a virgin, known to curse up a storm or whatever else you feel may be “unholy” or “taboo” is letting you know that I have indulged in things that some see as sin or unprofessional.

But again, what is professionalism anyway…

Yesterday I was told “No”

“I choose to be happy”
One of the many affirmation cards that sit on my desk. If I have learned anything in the past year it is this, it is okay to be patient until you get what you want. In other words, wait for the right fuel (I wonder how many times I have said this to myself and in my post already, I need a constant reminder). Coincidentally, as I lift the next card up it states, “It is ok for me to have everything I WANT.”

Yesterday I was told “No”
A normal response this time last year would be some feelings of discouragement. However, this time around I was happy, weirdly happy. Maybe it is not weird at all. I know that if I was told yes I would have continued a process where I was settling. A door was closed and I know that something better for me is waiting behind another door; as cliche as it sounds.

Moving to Missouri has been particularly challenging. Not the moving part, but what I have experienced while here. Despite the mental exhaustion and dragging myself out of bed each day, I do not think I made the wrong choice by any means. After a few hard conversations, I know a new chapter awaits.

My life is currently similar to the cursor I see on my screen. It is waiting for me to write my next chapter and the difference this time is that there is no script. The only guidelines are what I need to be happy, thriving, and my definition of successful.

Therefore, I leave you with this…

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” supposedly said by someone named Joseph Campbell

Flight #1564

Flight #1564

This post is about a week late but hey, here it goes anyway…

Outside of the fact that I get anxiety at the thought of something going wrong while I go through TSA, I like airports. Well maybe not necessarily airports but hopefully you can catch my drift as you continue reading. I am an introvert and tend not to branch out but usually people talk to me. Either, I want people to avoid me or I will engage a little bit.

I met a couple today who are retired and getting their travel on! I was happy to get a window seat, yay me! As they asked me where I was from the husband and I were able to make a connection. He recently retired from the place I work at now. He still teaches online. Do you ever think about sitting on the back porch having a conversation with an older couple that you have known all of 2 seconds? Just me? Okay. 

We have so much to gain from those we pass in the airport down to those who pick up the toilet paper you decided to leave on the ground while in the restroom stall. 

Now on my second fight I am in the middle of two people currently and for the first time chose to sit in the middle, what???? The person to my left is drinking a Bloody Mary while reading a book. The person to my right is slowly drinking an alcoholic drink that someone bought them. I am guessing it is one of their buddies. I just got done drinking some Chardonnay, my first alcoholic drink on a flight I might add, and I have flown at least over 20 times by now. Wow, that I can be thankful for.

All this reflection and taking the energies of the people around me reminds me of my experience when I was on my way to South Korea. 

I was on my way to my gate when a couple sparked up a conversation with me. I told them that I am headed to study abroad and it is the first time I am leaving the country. The wife proceeded to ask me how old I was. After, she started to cry. If you know how emotional I am I almost cried too. She mentioned that she had a child the same age as me. Her husband did his best to calm her down and assure her that I was going to make it to South Korea safely. It touched my heart and still does to this day. I wish I grabbed onto the opportunity to stay in contact with them. 

Whatever your journey in life you come across some great people. In a world so cruel that is one thing I know I can appreciate at the end of the day. We always have something to learn whether good, bad, sad, joyful etcetera from the people we pass. The people we sit next to, the people we become friends with, the people who annoy us, the people we slowly eye from across the way because they look scrumptious… forgive me for I have sinned? *rubs chin…According to this pastor I recently heard preach I have sinned.

Anyway, I sit here with so many thoughts running through my head and I cannot wait to land

#CaliforniaBound