It’s Lit: Professionalism microscope with a dash of sin

I do not know about you, but I like to have 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 drinks, before I know it I could be drinking a whole bottle of wine or tequila *wink. I am only kidding on the bottle of tequila, but whatever floats your boat as long as you are safe and within your limit.

I am 25 going on 26 and I am currently walking on a thin tightrope. Tightropes seem to be thin anyway, but I will leave the “thin” just for your wondrous imagination. I have moved into the full-time professional world and if you ask me, what is professionalism anyway? In many aspects, it tries to put you in a box and as you walk towards the box you hear a faint voice in the distance saying “assimilation… conformity” Who wants that? not to mention the classism among other things that come into play when talking about professionalism.

Moving into the professional world as someone who is young you may feel the watchful eye behind your back. Yes, we should all be great examples and we all want to live too and or just have a drink when we want to have a drink. Just because people do not see everything I do that does not mean I am better than the next person. I can be described as someone who has “no chill” and yes I am very much an introvert and rule follower. What is life without breaking some rules? just a life without breaking rules and therefore you do not get the opportunity to see how much they bend.

Breaking rules do not necessarily mean breaking the law or doing anything that could potentially get you arrested. That last sentence alone could have me go on a rant about the justice system, but not the time or place. Sometimes you have to break the rules to get to where you want to be or break your own rules so you can live beyond your comfort zone.

By saying I occasionally get drunk, have been high before, not a virgin, known to curse up a storm or whatever else you feel may be “unholy” or “taboo” is letting you know that I have indulged in things that some see as sin or unprofessional.

But again, what is professionalism anyway…

Yesterday I was told “No”

“I choose to be happy”
One of the many affirmation cards that sit on my desk. If I have learned anything in the past year it is this, it is okay to be patient until you get what you want. In other words, wait for the right fuel (I wonder how many times I have said this to myself and in my post already, I need a constant reminder). Coincidentally, as I lift the next card up it states, “It is ok for me to have everything I WANT.”

Yesterday I was told “No”
A normal response this time last year would be some feelings of discouragement. However, this time around I was happy, weirdly happy. Maybe it is not weird at all. I know that if I was told yes I would have continued a process where I was settling. A door was closed and I know that something better for me is waiting behind another door; as cliche as it sounds.

Moving to Missouri has been particularly challenging. Not the moving part, but what I have experienced while here. Despite the mental exhaustion and dragging myself out of bed each day, I do not think I made the wrong choice by any means. After a few hard conversations, I know a new chapter awaits.

My life is currently similar to the cursor I see on my screen. It is waiting for me to write my next chapter and the difference this time is that there is no script. The only guidelines are what I need to be happy, thriving, and my definition of successful.

Therefore, I leave you with this…

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” supposedly said by someone named Joseph Campbell

Letting Go: The end is knowing

Letting Go: The end is knowing

#Haiku “Letting Go”
No questions let go
Your worth will shine and capture
By then you will know

Slowly I have been letting things go and taking a step back from thoughts that have kept my mind from being free. I have declared 2017 as the year I will say yes to more experiences, let go of things that I have held onto for too long, let go of pain while being honest about my wounds, and letting go of anything toxic. I owe all of this to myself. If I was to give this year a theme it would be “The Year of Healing.”

Through this process, I am actively taking steps to recognize when I need to take a step back. I am reflective in this way. I enjoy being able to reflect and process my experiences, different situations, emotions, etc… and love it when I have the ability to talk about it among my friends. Reflection is such a powerful tool. At times I tend to overthink and I know how to pull myself back in.

Communication is so important to me and sometimes I struggle with it. One thing I mentioned awhile back is that I will say what I need to even if I hesitate and cry to get whatever it is out. Those may not be the exact words, but I hope you catch my drift.

I want to make this year the year that I invest more in myself and what I like to do. Part of that for me is letting go and knowing how to be kinder to myself. Be kind to yourself because society steps on your back enough. We all have our reasons why we are hard on yourself. I have good reasons and I know it is okay to give myself a break.

Throughout our life we will not always get the answers we seek when we seek them, sometimes they come to us at a later time down our path. You may feel that you need to let something go, but not know why. Listen to your intuition. Have the hard conversation, let the grudge go, let the skeletons out of the closet, change, grow, invest in yourself, heal, experience…

Most importantly, DO YOU!

**I did not take the featured image and have no rights to the photo.